Friday, August 17, 2012

Getting What You Want Out of Life

Today I’ve come into a new place of understanding; a paradigm shift in my way of thinking and relating to the world around me. I’ve had sort of a quantum leap, so to speak, in consciousness. Today I realized that all I need to be completely and utterly happy already lies right down deep within me. I’ve always known this but now I will live this. My outside and surrounding circumstances are just a manifestation of what I’ve been focusing on internally. Sometimes we focus on the negative and get more of it. We see a problem and instead of focusing on what we truly want we get caught up in the circumstance of whatever negative thing we are enduring. This actually causes a negative perpetual cycle.  

If we take time, conscience time, to meditate on what it is we truly desire in this life you can be sure that God will bring that right to you in his perfect timing. You can take that to the bank! This is because what we desire will evoke certain emotions and thoughts. Our mind and soul are extremely powerful, sending out vibrations into the universe to attract just what it is we desire. I'll talk about a few examples of desire in the following paragraphs of areas in life that sometimes seem like the biggies.

Mama Needs a J-O-B
Say you are stuck at home in what seems like an endless job search and none of the right opportunities seem to knock at your door. What are you really focusing on? Is it your lack of money? Is it your unhappiness and discontent at a current job? Is it desperation to get out of a particular situation that makes you feel financially dependent on someone else? If so, you can be sure that the perfect job is not going to be offered to you. Instead, try focusing on exactly what you want, not why you want it. Don’t even worry about how you’ll get it, and when you’ll get it.
One little thing that I've realized lately is that I was getting job offers but they weren't the 'right' ones. This is because I had my mind made up that I needed a job but it was coming out of a place of desperation rather than patience and trusting in God. This manifested jobs, but not the perfect one. I'll let you know when I land the perfect job which I can guarantee will be soon as I am honing in on the exact frequency of my desires. For instance, I want to be financially independent. I want to be able to spend a decent amount of time with my daughter and keep things stable for her when I return to work. I want to be able to provide for my daughter the things she needs. I want to enjoy my work. I want to feel productive in society. I want to be able to afford to travel. These are a few fine tuned wants that directly link me to my ability to get the perfect job/means of income to realize my desires. 
Meditate on the perfect job and be grateful that the position for you is already available. The timing of it is not your concern. The universe will take care of that. Shoot, you really don't even need to concern yourself about the location, pay, duties, and hours because the 'perfect' job will line up with exactly what you need/want in every way. It could even come to you by way of a million dollar idea or invention. You just never know and the details don't matter. Just be open to and focus on the perfect opportunity. Relax in the knowledge that it is already available to you. You'll be able to reach out and grab it at exactly the right time.

That Thing Called Love
Similarly, take a look at your love life. Are you constantly focusing on your needs not being met, your partner’s idiosyncrasies that drive you crazy, your lack of connection, and your discontentment? Perhaps you are focusing on being lonely and you're so desperate for someone great to come along and make you happy. Maybe you are even fixated on one particular individual being the sole source of everything that can fulfill you. If so, guess what? You’ll be getting more and more of the negative, loneliness, and you'll be blocking doors that could otherwise be opened if you simply opened your heart. That’s another reality that you can take to the bank. Instead focus on what it is that you truly want. If you don’t have clarity on this, ask God to give you clarity. Meditate on wanting clarity for however long it takes. It will come, trust me. For me, it only took a matter of a couple weeks! It might be only days for you.
When you get the clarity you need, focus on what you want day and night as you have the time to really spotlight those desires. Do you want deep connection, unwavering, mutual respect, intelligent and engaging conversation, unabashed honesty, and unfathomable, mutual love among other things? The more you hone in your center of attention on these things the faster and more powerful it will be delivered to you. And take note of this: it may not be with your current partner. Likewise, it very well may be. That is not your concern. The who, when, and how are all the little details that are in God’s hands. And let’s be real, doesn’t that make life so much easier? It’s a load off when we allow the creator of the universe to handle what is his job to handle and guess what, he enjoys giving you the desires of your heart!

When you get down to the nitty gritty of what you honestly want, you will find that it is always in perfect alignment with the will of God. This is why it is written in Psalms 37:4, “delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” When you go to that calm, quiet place of thinking on what you truly want, doesn’t it feel like such a delight in the Lord? To me it does and none of the details make a bit of difference. I will reiterate, it’s not about thinking of who you want, or when it’s going to come, and how it comes, it’s only about what you want i.e. the desires of your heart. A person in particular may seem like a desire of your heart, but they can’t be because a person cannot fulfill you. It may seem like so, and a person can match up to you and be the tool that God uses to deliver the desires of your heart, but regardless, if you focus on what you want, a statue could give it to you if God so wanted to use a statue!

Have you ever been intensely, emotionally moved by something that may seem to others as a minuscule moment? I have. Sometimes it’s just when I take the first bite of a delicious meal. I’m overcome with sensory pleasure and feel truly grateful to have the blessing of such a cuisine. God can use anything and everything to reach you on a cavernous level. Believe me, God will deliver who, when, and how he deems fit and it will be beyond your wildest dreams in the love department!
Check out this guy being profoundly, spiritually, and emotionally moved by something others may deem just a blasé experience. It’s comical in parts but it’s so cool how affected he was by such a moment.

Everyone Wants To Be in Good Health
Let’s look at another area of life that people get hung up on, health. Now this is a biggie and so many people don’t realize the power they have over their own health. So many factors play into what makes a person healthy or unhealthy. What we eat, what we think about, how stressed we are, habits we indulge in, habits we probably should indulge in but don’t, toxins, etc.
If you are already in poor health i.e. cancer, arthritis, anxiety problems, depression, overweight, underweight, auto-immune disease it can seem quite daunting and overwhelming to get back to good health. The good news is, we don’t have to worry about who will heal us, how will something cure us, and when this will happen. All we have to focus on is what we want and that is to be in excellent health. Now this may or may not happen overnight but again that’s the when and it doesn’t matter.
You want to be healthy, speak it out. Meditate day and night on yourself being a healthy individual. Fine tune those desires by honing in on what kinds of activities you want to be able to enjoy. This is when visualization comes in handy. Before you know it, God will lead you to the who, how, and when to walk in perfect health in his perfect divinity. God may show you that you need to make some adjustments to the foods you eat, or you need to get out of a stressful situation, or you need to detox, or perhaps all of the above or none of the above. You will be inspired to act and by golly when that inspiration comes (I like to call it the gumption of the Holy Ghost) GO FOR IT! God isn’t going to do it for you but he will lay out the path for you and help you along the way.
It’s no joke that prayer works and faith can move mountains. Because all the prayers you send to the big man upstairs are nothing more than you focusing on what you want and guess what, everything you need to overcome and come out on top of every, and I do mean every, situation in your life already lies right inside of you. The power of the universe, the kingdom of God is already within you. For real dog. Everything you could possibly ever want or need is already available to you. And you will start manifesting all of those things into your reality when you get clear on what you want and hone in on it.
Go on and try it. I am manifesting thousands of dollars, true love, and a job right now by simply focusing on what I want. Keep this in mind; your motives must be pure and true to the essence of who you really are. They have to come from your authentic self. If you just want a thousand dollars because you need it to feel good about yourself, chances are that money ain’t coming to you honey. However if you want the money because it will aide you along your path to true enlightenment and open doors that need to be opened to reach a goal that is essential to the inner being of what you truly desire then yeah baby! It’s already on its way!

Leaps in understanding and consciousness are simply amazing. What a ride! I like to refer to these moments as epiphanies. That moment when everything inside of you clicks and a giant DUUHHHH! is hanging overhead. I always feel like shouting it to the world as the passionate truth builds inside of me and causes a burst at the seams. Fun fun!
What are you focusing on manifesting at the moment?

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Submit, Trust, and Release

My destiny is the ocean.
The ocean is where true happiness and joy abound.
It is where God celebrates and blesses those that had the audacity to jump off the edge into the unknown and overcome their fears.
It is where heaven can be experienced right here in this life.
It is where complete fluidity, freedom, and peace thrive.
Like water, I will cut through rocks if I have to in order to get where God wants me to be. 
If I pay close enough attention, I find that is where I truly have wanted to be all along.
I imagine myself immersed so wholly in the water.
It’s not depth I’m reaching for, but to be a part of the water itself.
I am one with the water.
I am flowing around rocks and logs in the streams, making my way to bigger waters.
I am cascading freely and fiercely down over the waterfalls, unabashedly diving toward my destiny.
I slow down and rest when the way becomes congested but I never stop persevering to get to where I know I’m going.
I rush rapidly down the mountain rivers in haste with excitement and anticipation to get to where I know I belong.
When I’m in a dry season and the heat evaporates me I wait patiently for the clouds to release me and I fearlessly lunge toward my destination once again.
Sometimes when the ground becomes too crowded with water, I seep down deep into the earth yet surely carry on my travels to find my objective.
I make a way to get where I’m going and carve the path out behind me for others to follow.
I enjoy my journey as I flow, rush, squeeze, trickle, drip, dash, and crash along the way.
Yet I am never injured.
I am stronger than any force on the planet.
I am always on my way, travelling in the direction to the place where providence resides.
My fate is sealed when I am a part of the water.
If I step out of the water I’m lost and doomed, only to go at this thing called life alone.
I can walk toward bigger waters and eventually get there but how many obstacles and how hard the trek would be.
I may die from grief or wounds on the way and never reach my goal.
I could get turned around and head in the wrong direction completely.
No. I will stay one with the water, which is God’s perfect will.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Have Faith and Hope Today by Going With The Flow

Go with the Flow
by Joyce Meyer - posted July 17, 2012
Brethren, for this reason, in [spite of all] our stress and crushing difficulties we have been filled with comfort and cheer about you [because of] your faith (the leaning of your whole personality on God in complete trust and confidence). —1 Thessalonians 3:7
Go with the flow, and stop being anxious about things that may never happen. If you really trust God, you don’t need a backup plan. Faith means that you have peace even when you don’t have all the answers.
Life will always be stressful if you constantly try to rearrange it. For example, getting upset in a traffic jam doesn’t get you out of it any sooner. But planning for obstacles will inspire you to leave a little earlier for your appointments and keep you from hurrying.
Grow in wisdom, and place high priority on keeping your peace in spite of any jams you get into today.

This was Joyce Meyer’s daily devotional for today. Wow! How fresh and current this word is for me at this particular moment in time. I love when God gives you that little bit of grace you so desperately need when walking through some of life’s greatest trials. No matter how hard life is, no matter how confused or bleak my future may seem, no matter how impatient I tend to be, I will keep reminding myself to go with the flow. I will remind myself to have faith that when I lean on God completely, I will be at peace. I will be happy. I will overcome. I will delight myself in the Lord and he will give me the desires of my heart! (Psalms 37:4) I will find delight in doing things his way otherwise I’ll never be given the desires of my heart.

It may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, to submit to God’s way. Sometimes the right choice even feels like we are doing ourselves a disservice, but when you trust in God, you’ll arrive at the place that is best for you. Perhaps not on your terms or your time-table, but you will arrive. Usually we don’t know where God’s path might lead us but we can relax and enjoy the ride and rest assured that it will take us to the desires of our heart if we go with the flow, let go and let God, and delight ourselves in him.

Have faith today,

In the words of a mother

Monday, June 18, 2012

Saying I'm Sorry

Every now and again conflict arises. Sometimes it’s with a stranger in the street who seems to be most likely suffering from severe constipation and is therefore markedly anal retentive in the true sense of the term. On the other hand it can arise in our inner circles, which obviously causes us distress far greater than just an outsider. What are we to do in situations that involve conflict resulting from offensive words being said, ignorance that breeds insensitivity, the losing of tempers, etc.? We especially need to ponder on what to do when it involves the people that are the most important to us.

First, let’s look at what to do when we are the offender. Clearly an apology is in order, but not before seriously considering what it is you are sorry about. Nothing is more irritating to the person who has been offended than an insincere, pardon my language, bull shit apology. You know the kind, an apology where the person says, “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you got upset” or I’m sorry, but…” or “I’m sorry if I hurt you”. All of these are examples of cheap, un-thoughtful apologies. Using these types of words in an apology may even add insult to injury. Usually only immature, selfish, shallow, but more often than not, unaware people give these types of weak apologies.
Never apologize for how a person feels. Saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” is nothing more than invalidating the other’s feelings. No one ever needs to apologize for how another feels. After all, they are responsible for their own feelings anyway. The only thing you ever need to apologize about is when you have caused harm and you realize you need to take responsibility for the harm you’ve inflicted. Granted some people are overly sensitive and get offended easily, if you realize you have hurt them, even unintentionally, just apologize. You can even apologize for your ignorance in the fact that you didn’t realize how sensitive they were about whatever it was that upset them. If you find that they are consistently getting upset and are always offended, simply distance yourself from such an emotionally underdeveloped person to avoid the ongoing conflict that is sure to arise.
The word but in an apology is like telling someone they are pretty except for the bulbous nose on their face. It’s hardly a compliment. Likewise, using the if word deflates the truth of the matter. There is no if in hurting someone who has made it clear you have upset them. Perhaps the only time you would use the word if when delivering an apology is when you think you may have offended someone but can’t be sure. In which case, it’s better to flat out ask the person if you’ve offended them or not and if so, apologize without the if word.
Don’t make excuses when you apologize. Don’t say “I’m sorry, it’s just my personality.” What a copout! Also, don’t say, “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” What normal person tries to hurt another? Simply say, “Sorry that I hurt you.”
Humbling yourself by giving an apology is in essence giving power to the offended. It may feel very hard to do but rest assured, by allowing your natural desire for harmony to outweigh your other natural desire to keep your pride and protect yourself will typically benefit everyone. Even if your apology is rejected, ignored, or scoffed at, you can rest in the peace of knowing that you have done your part in the attempt to restore the relationship. If it is important enough to them they should and most likely will accept your apology. ___________________________________________________________________________________
Now what on feeling as though someone owes you an apology? This is slightly more delicate to our self-esteem because if we don’t get the apology we feel we deserve it can make us feel insecure in the relationship that we value. It may rightfully so cause us to re-evaluate whether or not keeping this person around who has hurt us and shows no remorse is a good idea.
Sometimes even a mere acquaintance who should feel remorse and doesn’t can get under our skin. The best thing to do in this situation is remind yourself that very little is lost by having someone who barely knows you be at odds against you. You don’t need to worry yourself with what they think about you. If you trust in yourself, knowing that you have a good heart and strong character, there is no need to be troubled. Chalk it up to the idea that the two of you are better off not being friends.
No matter what, we must forgive. Forgiveness is not for the people who hurt us, it is a contribution for our own peace of mind. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to remain in the same relationship with the person. It just means that you don’t hold resentment in your heart. Holding a grudge is what weak people do. Mahatma Gandhi said that forgiveness is an attribute of the strong. Your best bet is to be civil if you must be around someone whom you find offensive. Cordiality is not extending a hand in friendship, nor does it mean you are submitting to a jerk. It just means you are wise, classy, and know how to keep the peace.
Sometimes sympathizing with your offender in terms of trying to see why they may have done what they did is helpful. Humanizing your enemy helps alleviate anger, resentment, and pain. Have you ever noticed that when you hear of child molesters or serial killers, some of the first questions that pop into your mind are, “How could they do that?” or “Why would they do such a thing?” It’s when we can’t even imagine how or why a person does what they do that makes it the hardest to forgive.  ___________________________________________________________________________________
There’s an amazing website that I refer to on a regular basis anytime I need intelligent, emotional advice and insight. You can find it here. It goes in depth about a wide spectrum of emotional issues and teaches you how to respond and act emotionally mature. I wrote an article awhile back about how to improve your emotional intelligence and I think that’s worth going back and reading again as well. We all could use a little help in this department every now and again, especially when conflict occurs.

There is always a balance to everything. While peace is typically our highest objective, we must remember this. Sometimes peace needs to be forgone as a matter of honor. If you don’t stand up for whom you say you love or what you say you believe in, then you are by definition a coward. I feel compelled to say this because sometimes peace cannot solve your problems. Sometimes it’s necessary to stand up for yourself, your loved ones, or a cause you believe in. Eminem, that’s right, the rapper said, “You’ve got enemies? Good. That means you actually stood up for something in your life.” We can’t be friends with everybody. Of course we want harmony if it can be obtained but don’t be afraid to stand your ground if the situation calls for it.
Sorry ;),
In the words of a mother

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

6 Things You Can Do To Attract Positivity into Your Life: Part 3 of 3

You know when someone feeds off of negativity because they are the ones that always seem to have something going wrong in their lives. They aren't any different than you or me; they just focus and dwell on the negative, so they get more of it. If you have heard yourself say these things: "It's always something." "It never ends." "The hits just keep on coming." "Why do these [negative] things always happen to me?" chances are you are the cause of all the negativity. Yes you! Take responsibility instead of playing the victim. You'll notice your life starting to look very differently from where you sit. Then back track and start this mini-series over.

I wanted to throw the above paragraph in because I think it's super important for us to be aware and take responsibility in life for any of this mini-series to work at all.

All of that being said...Yay! How to attract positivity into your life part 3 of 3 is here. If you missed Part 1 and Part 2, be sure to check those out before continuing on.

Now then, let’s get to it.

5. Believe that you deserve whatever you want.
Sometimes it’s easy to get down on yourself and stay in the rut of feeling like you just don’t deserve what you want. Maybe you think you don’t work hard enough, look good enough, aren’t smart enough, you name it. Insecurities and negativity spoken over our lives can really put a damper on our belief of deserving what we want.

My idea on this process might seem a little backwards but give this a try. I’ll use myself as an example. Say you (like me) want to make a positive impact on other people’s lives through motivational and encouraging words and showing lots of love to your fellow man. Perhaps you haven’t had any special training, no schooling, and it’s not like you’re a doctor with a clinical psychology private practice so you may ask yourself what is your expertise. Maybe you’ve never even really talked that much and when you do others appear as though they don’t give a rip.

You are set up to feel like you couldn’t possibly have anything to offer that people would want. Why bother? Well…I’m here to tell you that you can throw that thought right out the window! If you have something YOU want to do, there is no desire police that will stop you (barring illegal desires) from doing it. J You are the one holding the reigns to your own life, directing the horse in the direction you want it to go.

When you give yourself the liberty to believe that you have the right to go after what you want, regardless of experience, education, history, etc. you open yourself up to a whole new world of possibility. Not only will you feel empowered but you will feel inspired to do what is necessary to reach your goals.

Perhaps you do need to have that educational degree to practice in a clinical setting. If this is the case, you must understand this: When you believe that you deserve anything you desire, it is that preemptive nudge that gets you on the path to earning whatever it is you must earn, acquiring whatever you must acquire, or learning whatever you must learn in order to get wherever it is you want to go and be whoever it is you want to be.

Wow. What a doozie and a total mouthful, but it is a place to start. The rest will follow suit of that foundation and fall right into place.

6. Have a plan and work the plan
Remember that previous step; believe that you deserve whatever you want. You must do that before you make a plan and work it. Essentially this is because if you don’t believe, you won’t put forth the effort to plan and work towards your goals. You don’t want to be stuck on the wrong side of that dividing line.

So now that we believe that we deserve what we want, we go for it baby! We dream, believe, make plans, follow through with those plans and reach our goals. We truly will get whatever we want and attract all sorts of positive things into our lives.

It’s that simple and that hard. The simple part is knowing what we have to do, the hard part is actually doing it. That’s always the hard part. But a tire doesn’t get changed without a little elbow grease. Same as your life doesn’t end up where you want it unless you stir the wheel and shift the gears. Some of us live on autopilot; that is the dreadful side of the dividing line you don’t want to be on.

Tools. You need tools to iron out your dreams. I love to use Microsoft Word as a tool to make plans. I have tons of ideas written down (shoot I should make a backup copy again). I have projects that I want to accomplish outlined and anytime I have an event that I'm in charge of I make a plan that includes, ideas, needs, times, dates, etc. I get my mind organized on paper. Maybe that could help you too.

Also, I use a vision board. I have it hung in a place where I can see it every day. I include inspirational quotes, pictures of places I want to go, and words of encouragement. It is a reminder that I can have and do anything I want. It is a place where positivity is written over me and when I read it, it is spoken over my life. I am, in essence, convincing myself that I will accomplish my goals. We all know that once your mind is made up, little can stop you.


We can all attract positive things and who doesn’t want more positive things in their life? It’s not that difficult when your mind is in the right place. There is untold power in your mind. Put it to good use and get all the great things that your pretty little heart desires! Sometimes life throws us a few curveballs and of course we have to deal with those surprises appropriately. However, attracting positivity into your life can be consistent.

Enjoy Life,

In the words of a mother

Sunday, May 6, 2012

6 Things You Can Do To Attract Positivity into Your Life: Part 2 of 3

Remember last week’s 2 things you can do to attract positive things into your life? Here’s a refresher if you have forgotten.
1.    Wake up and recite 10 things you are grateful for.
2.    Speak out loud everyday what you want. Pause and pretend you already have it.

Moving on to numbers 3 and 4 on the list, here we go!

3. Use good manners
Simple enough. Just be nice to people. You don’t need to kiss a$$. That would prove to work just the opposite, but that’s another post. You just need to be polite and considerate.  Say please and thank you to absolutely ANYBODY that does ANYTHING for you. This includes your waiter, your child, your spouse, the janitor, your employee, your boss, your friend, the neighbor…ANYBODY! This will put others in a more positive mood around you which will then boost your positive energy and the gift just keeps on giving.

If you can, be the mood setter of every situation you find yourself in. You want to be able to bring others up to where you are instead of them dragging you down. Sincere politeness is one of the tools that can help you achieve this. It manifests positive energy. Positive energy is like food. It can sustain you and just like food when it’s prepared properly; it can be an enjoyable experience rather than simply calories to keep you moving. That’s boring. Energy in general will keep you moving but positive energy will have you happily soaring!

Also, gentlemen, please don’t forsake chivalry. I used to fight this because of my own silly insecurities, but now I’m in love with that elderly man that held the door open for me and my mother at the restaurant the other day. So go ahead and open that department store door for the ladies and wait for them to walk through. Put the lady’s coat on for her. Allow her to order first. Some women may be ungrateful but the majority who appreciate good old-fashioned courtesy will be obliged. Besides, it makes us feminine women feel secure. J (Shout out to my best cuz Kris who I argued with about this back in the day. You were right, I was wrong. You're smart, I'm stupid. You're pretty, I'm ugly.)

4. Be generous
“You get what you give.” “What goes around comes around.” “Karma’s a b*^&#.” “You reap what you sew.” You’ve all heard of these sayings. Obviously it’s a fundamental truth. It’s like the golden rule; treat others as you want to be treated. It is a universal law that absolutely no one can escape from.

This is why generosity is one of the greatest traits you can possess to attract positivity into your life. Of course you don’t want to give just to receive, in fact, that sort of defeats the purpose. True generosity has a heart condition that simply wants to bless, help, and make others happy. When you are truly generous, you can NOT and will NOT ever outrun the treasures that will be given to you.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to seek out your own motives for being generous. Are you generous because you want recognition and glory? Do you give so that others think you are rich and/or nice? Do you try and buy another’s love, approval, or affection? Do you give to others just to get something in return? If you answered yes to any of these questions – OOPS! - you unfortunately won’t be reaping too many positive things out of those motives. That’s okay, change it. Start giving just because people need what you have to give.

Side note: What you give doesn’t have to be monetary or wrapped or material. Some of us are more suited to give a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, advice to lend, or words of encouragement. Give what you know how to give and steadily work on expanding your generosity.

Everyone can use good manners and being generous is a trait that we all can work on. This week focus on using good manners with the people closest to you. Sometimes we are more polite to strangers than we are our own family. Also, try doing two generous things this week that you wouldn’t normally do. Perhaps pay for the people behind you in the drive-thru or stop and help the person broke down on the side of the road.
Thanks for reading! See y’all next week for part 3!

Graciously yours,
In the words of a mother

Sunday, April 29, 2012

6 Things You Can Do To Attract Positivity into Your Life: Part 1 of 3

photo courtesy of google pics

We could all use some extra positivity in our lives. I know I could. This list of six things to do is a great way to start attracting everything you want like a magnet. I'm breaking down the six things to do to attract more positivity into your life into three posts. I don't want you to get overwhelmed and I think it's important to practice a couple of things at a time for a few days before incorporating more. 

Without further ado...

1. Wake up and recite 10 things you are grateful for.
A lot of times we merely forget to be grateful. The hustle and bustle of life gets us caught up in everything that needs to be done or what we want to get done; we simply go through the motions taking for granted everything that enables us to do those things.

Starting off every morning with a grateful attitude is a surefire way to have a great day. It will open doors for you that otherwise would remain on lock. When you walk around with a piss poor attitude, complaining about what you wish you had but don’t, how horrible your boss is, how bratty your kids are, how inconsiderate your husband is, how crappy the weather is, what a POS car you have, how high the gas prices are, what little money you have, etc. you feel defeated so that’s exactly what you will be. 

Flip that daggum Debbie downer attitude right on its head! Do a complete 180 and start exclusively saying what you are grateful for. Sound hard? It’s actually not that hard IF you start your day off with a positive, grateful attitude. The positivity will flow much more naturally.

We can be grateful about the smallest things to even the greatest things. When’s the last time you stopped and thanked God for being able to walk or breathe without difficulty. Maybe you can’t walk or breathe without difficulty but you can talk, smile and enjoy a hot cup of coffee in the wee hours of the morning. You can read a good book or catch a great flick. Whatever it is that you enjoy or are blessed with, you can choose to be grateful and it helps to say it out loud. You can even write it down.

2. Speak out loud everyday what you want. Pause and pretend you already have it.
Okay, so if someone walks in on you and you’re talking to yourself there may be a small, awkward moment there but hey, we all talk to ourselves sometimes. Right? RIGHT?? Is anyone listening? Crap. Is this one of those moments? J But no, seriously, there is POWER in the tongue. Someone much wiser than me once said, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Yep, that’s a scripture out of Proverbs. That book is full of goodies!

It’s so true though. You can speak death and life with the power of your words. You can speak death or life over your finances, your marriage, your children’s attitudes and so on. You can literally even speak death over someone physically. How many people do you know or have you heard of that committed suicide because they were ridiculed for being gay, fat, ugly, different, or whatever it is that people choose to be cruel about. Ridiculing people is a form of speaking death over them? Even if it’s only speaking death over their self-esteem, it’s still death. Ick! Stop that! 

Alright, let me get back to the topic at hand. After you recite your daily gratitude, say out loud what you want. You can even call up a friend and discuss the things you want in life. Don’t bother talking about what you don’t want because then you’d be focusing on that and getting more of it. Say: I want to be financially secure. Pause, pretend you are, and let the feeling of being financially secure set in. Feel the security, comfort, whatever it is that feels positive. Then move on and say the next thing. I want a happy, connected relationship with my partner…yada yada. Do this for as many things as you want and for as long as you want or have time for.

Pay attention to what you feel down deep when you say what you want. It is important because these feelings will reveal the real you. When you say, I want a brand new, big house, how do you feel when you say it? Do you feel blessed, fortunate, comfortable, and lavish? Or do you feel greedy, materialistic, selfish, and petty? If you feel the first feelings, you are in sync with what you value and that is totally fine. If you feel the second list of feelings, it's time to ask yourself why you feel that way. Perhaps you don't really value a big, fancy house but you have let society pressure you into thinking you need that to be successful.

Whatever it might be, you will get whatever you want so long as your desires line up with what you truly value in your core. When your fantasies line up with your values, it gives you the ultimate “good feeling”. You'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are on the right path.

Put these two tips into practice for a few days and notice the difference in your attitude. Stay tuned for the next two steps coming at you in about a week!

Get what you want,

In the words of a mother

Friday, April 20, 2012

Past, Present, Future - Part 3 of 3



Hope for the Future

Part 3

photo courtesy of google images

"Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.” ~Alan Lakein. This quote pretty darn near nails it. The future is important but not as much as what you are doing in the present. In fact, you can’t have a future without the present. And you certainly can’t have the future you want without working towards it now.

It’s totally fine to dream, plan, and hope for a brighter future. In fact, it’s healthy! It doesn’t mean that you’re not living in “the now”. Shoot, we all want good health, wealth, and happiness and who couldn’t use more of that, ya know. I have just started using more visualization techniques, picturing myself being at my book signing with a line out the door and touching thousands of people’s lives with what the good Lord has blessed me with. I love to use techniques now to boost my outcome for the future.

Now that being said…“Happy people plan actions, they don’t plan results.” ~Dennis Wholey. Okay, so we definitely need to plan for the future by doing things now. Ahhh, you can’t escape that fact. If you ever want to reach your highest potential, not a damn thing will happen until you are actually reaching for the stars, not just gazing at them from afar, admiring their beauty. For instance, I can dream all day long about writing a book that becomes a bestseller but it’ll never happen if I don’t WRITE it! Plan the actions, DO the actions, and sit back and enjoy the results.

We are responsible for everything we get and don’t get in our lives. Sure, life can throw some curveballs and a few surprises here and there but we are responsible for how we handle it. We can either rise above or play the victim.

“Good fortune is what happens when opportunity meets with planning.” ~Thomas Alva Edison. Well I’ll be darn. The good ones just keep on rolling. This post is quote city but I tell you what, they are remembered and mentioned for a reason. Chalk full of wisdom, we can live off this stuff! If you want good health, wealth, and happiness (which is my definition of good fortune) then you must plan for it and you absolutely, 100% WILL meet it!

I truly believe that the whole universe (cliché but oh well) is on your side! Similar to the following quote, “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11. You have nothing to fear except giving up. So simply don’t!

All of that being said, let’s do what you all know I love to do; ask questions and really think about the answers. Really get down to the nitty gritty. What do you want to be in the future? How do you see yourself as an elderly person? Who would you like around you as you age? What do you see yourself having to offer in the future?

What do you want to be in the future?
I want to be a promoter of people. A lover of my fellow brothers and sisters. A loving, compassionate, powerful, inspiring, voice in the world. I want to make a difference in the lives of many. I want to be a successful writer and yes, make a great living at it but more so, affect the outcomes of people's lives. I want to be such a great writer that my words light the fire in the spirits of others and compel them to reach their potential. I want to reach my potential. I want to be a great wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, friend, acquaintance, gardener, etc. Doggonit I want to be an amazing me! J

How do you see yourself as an elderly person?
I see myself as the happiest old lady anyone has ever seen. I see myself with a smile always on my face, laughing, and telling silly jokes. I see myself as completely in acceptance with myself and others. I see silver hair and a serene core. I see myself as accomplished and fulfilled, alert and active, kind and full of endless love. Dang, I like that old lady!

Who would you like around you as you age?
Needless to say, I would love my beautiful little petunia, Cheyann around. My darling daughter who will always be just as perfect as the day she was born. I certainly want my family around. I want to spend plenty of time with my friends and of course my bestie, Steph (School of Rock-n-Raw, check her out. She's AHHH-mazing). And last but not least, I want all the people that have crossed my path and those whose paths I’ve crossed in a profound way to be near and dear to my heart.

What do you see yourself having to offer in the future?
I think this might be one of the most important questions on the subject. Life is about what you give more than what you get. I want to offer a vast legacy. I want to leave an imprint in the spirits and on the hearts of others. I want to offer so much love to others that they can’t contain it, which forces them to share it and spread it like a wild fire! I want to offer an ear in the world that listens, a mouth that only speaks positively, a touch that soothes, an eye that notices, a taste that appreciates, and a sniff that stops to smell the roses. I want to offer all the great things that God has blessed me with and called me to share. Again, I want to offer love. That’s what it all boils down to.

Remember, you can and you will have darn near anything and everything you want in the future. Apply yourself now to get what you want later. Don’t worry about the future, simply plan for it. I am 100% rooting for you to reach your potential and beyond. The future will be great fun. See ya there.

You WILL have the future you want,

In the words of a mother

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Past, Present, Future - Part 2 of 3


Being Present in the Present

Part 2

photo courtesy of google images 

Living in the now has a lot of hype in the “enlightened” world. Basically we don’t want to live in the past. The past can represent a place that summons regret or even a place of wanting to go back because we think those were the good old days. We don’t want to live in the future either because we can’t know for sure what it holds and we aren’t promised tomorrow. 

One reason for being mindful of living in the present is because focusing too much on the past or future distracts us from what we could be experiencing right here, right now. The biggest reason for living in the now, present time, is because this is what time we have been given and we get to do whatever we want with it. This is where the power is! This is actually where you can choose to heal from the past, move on, and work for a brighter future. Again, this is where YOU have the power.

In terms of growth and awareness I always love to ask myself questions and really spend the time answering them truthfully. A couple questions spring to mind when focusing on the present. Ask yourself these questions. What is great about life now? What makes you happy now? What areas can you work on now to be a better you?

What is great about life now?
For me, a lot of things are great right now. I have an amazing, loving, devoted, handsome, hardworking, hilarious, sexy, smart, caring, passionate husband! I have such a sweet, beautiful, fun, silly little daughter. I have one the best jobs on the planet i.e. stay at home mama. I love my home, my garden, my chickens, my friends, and my family. I look great. I feel pretty good. I’m drinking more water. ;) I had to put that in there. This is a big deal for me!

Life is pretty darn good from where I sit. What’s fantastic about that is I made it that way. I choose to be grateful in the present. No one does that for you. No, not even God. It’s up to you to have a good life. This is a perfect example of how you have the power right now!

What makes you happy now?
Of course the things I’ve listed above make me happy but true happiness comes from within. I’ll tell ya what, I’ve been working on that! At the beginning of this year I started on my Journey to Improved Health and it has paid off. I feel better than I have in a long time. I weigh less than my pre pregnancy weight. I’m healthier. I’m doing more things that I love like writing, gardening, educating myself, getting involved in more activities, and making strides in my personal development quest.  

My understanding of God also makes me very happy. Being connected to something so much bigger than myself but really, so small it’s on the cellular level as well. Ahhh, that’s too deep to get into now. :) Perhaps I'll go there in a future post!

What areas can you work on now to be a better you?
I constantly work on being more conscientious of others needs/desires. For instance, I am a roll with the wind, tumbleweed type of personality. I am so type B that I have had issues with committing to events or plans causing me to be very unreliable. This is just unbalanced and nonsensical to me now. My personality is never an excuse to be less than thoughtful. I’ve realized the importance of being flexible yet maintaining a sense of, “you can count on me” sort of thing. 

I also need to allow myself to make mistakes. I’m a good mother but not a perfect one. It’s okay to mess up. I’m not the perfect wife, friend, daughter, sister, or the perfect anything. I’m just me, pressing on, trying to get better little by little. 

Lastly and it’s a biggie, I need to work on not letting fear hold me back. No more making excuses for myself to not reach certain goals. I can do whatever I set my mind to. Even moving a mountain is attainable and I am dead serious about that! 

In the present, we are all a work in progress. Right now I am working on being the friend others respect, the family member that can be counted on, and the type of person that inspires. I am working on becoming highly fit, healthy all around, and doggonit I’m working on being an evolved person. That's what I love about the present. I can do all of that now. I definitely can't go back into the past and I don't have to wait for the future!

Be present in the present. Live in the now. Feel what you feel. Think what you think. And go from there. Remember, you are not guaranteed the future. Right NOW is all you’ve got and this is wherein the power lies to reach your potential!

Gratefully and blissfully present,

In the words of a mother

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Past, Present, Future - Part 1 of 3

A Reflection of the Past

Part 1

photo courtesy of google images

Sometimes to get where you want to go you have to pay homage to where you’ve been. That is one reason I’m writing this teeny tiny, short, 3 part series. Basically I want us to honor where we've been and what we've done in part 1. In part 2 we'll discuss present life. Part 3 we will focus our eyes toward the horizon for what’s to come. Sometimes little exercises like these are helpful to be aware of ourselves which in turn serves us to be mindful of others.

That being said, looking back on your life, ask yourself a few questions. How have I grown? What are the things I have done that amaze myself? What have I overcome and how have I experienced victory in my life? As I sit here, with my 10 year high school reunion nearing, I contemplate these things. Many things have happened since leaving my childhood behind and strolling along on the well beaten path into adulthood.

How have I grown?
I see that I have grown leaps and bounds in my understanding of others, my ideas about God, and my enthusiasm for learning and gaining wisdom. I adore growth in every form that life provides me the opportunity to do such. I have grown mentally, emotionally, and well…physically, I’m glad I haven’t grown too much! ;) I have grown by letting go of the expectations I’ve put on others. In turn, I have allowed myself to be free from the expectations others put on me.

How have I amazed myself?
A few things pop into mind when asking that question. First and foremost is becoming a mother. Wow! I had great fears about being a mother before it happened but God has blessed me with everything I need to get through and get through extremely well.
One other thing that amazes me is that my whole perception of the world got flipped upside down and around as far as my lifestyle is concerned and I’m okay with that. The work that is involved in making lifestyle changes may be daunting and quite a challenge but little by little I’m healthier and happier. It happened after I gave birth to Cheyann. That little princess threw me for a loop and completely transformed my awareness of the world. Thank you daughter. Muah!

What have I overcome?
After 10 years of a very rocky and at times hard relationship with my husband, we are still together and still love one another deeply. We live by this motto, “Love is the food that nourishes a marriage; commitment is the glue that holds it.” This is a big deal for me. After seeing virtually every marriage around me deteriorate and/or end in divorce, I still have hope for mine.

I have overcome heartache, the loss of loved ones, set-backs, fears, lies, let downs, and much more. Life has a way of shelling out obstacles to overcome. But that is just the point, to overcome! No matter what happens, I trust that I can come out with the victory. That’s huge! Thank you God!

You’ve heard the quote, “Those who live in the past are sad and those who live in the future are anxious.” I agree. But go ahead, reflect on your past. You certainly don’t need to live there to give it a healthy reflection from time to time. It may be a good way to realize where you are now and where you would like to go in the future.
Casually acknowledge the negative only as a means of self-awareness and personal development. Never beat yourself up. And always focus on the positive! These are just a couple little tips to help you create for yourself the life you have always wanted.
Now then, please share how you've grown, amazed yourself, and what you have overcome!

Joyful Reflections,
In the words of a mother

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Coffee Enema: Why, What, and How

photo curtesy of google images
When I mention coffee enemas I usually get a similar response from people. They sort of tilt their head to the side with a quizzical/disgusted expression on their face. I mostly get made fun of in my group of friends for advocating such a thing, but I don’t mind. My liver and the rest of me sure are enjoying the benefits of this rather unconventional means of detoxification.

The Why:

As I mentioned, it’s a detox, more specifically a liver, gall bladder, and bloodstream detox. You use caffeinated coffee. The caffeine is the crux that stimulates the liver to produce bile and dilate the bile ducts for faster and easier flushing out of toxins.

You cannot get this same effect by drinking coffee. This is because the caffeine is absorbed much more quickly by the hemorrhoidal vein and carried up to the liver via the portal vein. There are also enzymes in coffee that bind to toxins and stimulate the colon to evacuate.
It is a bloodstream cleanser because all the blood in your body passes through the liver for a cleaning about every 3 minutes or so. This is due to the complex enzyme systems at work in the body. But simply put, clean liver = clean blood. We all know that blood is life. It carries oxygen and all the goodies to every cell in the body. You want to have a healthy liver so that it is possible to have healthy blood!
The What:
1.     Purchase an enema bucket. They are cheap. I ordered mine here. Buckets are best because you can see how much coffee has entered the colon and it makes for easy cleaning.
2.     Purchase some good caffeinated, medium to light roast, organic coffee. I purchased mine from a local health foods store but you can order the best coffee for enemas here.
3.     Make sure you have a means to filter water or purchase some. I use water out of my Brita filter.
4.     Lubricant (I use olive oil)
5.     Towel and pillow (pillow optional)
The How:
1.     Add 1 quart (4 cups or 32 oz.) of filtered water and 2-3 Tbsp. of coffee into a saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and let simmer with lid on for 15 minutes. Take off burner, remove lid, and let sit until cooled to about 105 degrees.

You want it to be warm but not too hot because this could burn you inside. AHH! I stick by this rule: If your lips can handle it, your colon can. Warm water is best because cold water will make your muscles contract and you won’t be able to retain coffee for the desired length of time. Another test: Stick your hand all the way to the bottom of liquid once you think it is correct temperature. If it doesn’t burn your hand, you’re good to go.

If you haven't had a recent bowel movement you may want to do a cleansing 48 oz. warm water enema before the coffee enema. This way you can cleanse the colon of fecal matter and be able to retain the coffee enema for the recommended 15 minutes.

2.     Close clamp on tube that is attached to enema bucket. When the temperature is good, pour it into enema bucket. Then, to allow coffee to reach the end of the tube, open clamp and when coffee reaches the end of tube, close clamp. This will keep air from entering colon.
3.     Lubricate tip to be inserted in rectum with olive oil.
4.     Place towel in the bottom of bathtub and a pillow as well if you wish.
5.     Lie on your right side and gently insert tube tip about 2 inches into rectum. This should not hurt at all. If you feel even the slightest pain, stop, remove, re-lubricate, and try again.
6.     Once tip is successfully inserted, slowly open clamp to allow coffee to enter rectum and fill the colon. If you feel cramping you can close clamp and wait until cramps subside. Then open clamp and repeat. You may not be able to hold the entire quart at first but that’s okay. Simply evacuate when you feel you must and then administer remaining coffee. You should try and retain coffee for 15 minutes or longer. This is ideal for cleansing the liver, gallbladder, and bloodstream.
7.     Clean up.
That’s it! There’s really not much to it. Perhaps I’m a weirdo but I find coffee enemas to be relaxing. I’m sure it’s because I visualize my body cleaner and healthier during the process and this is a great stress relieving technique for me. Sometimes I even read a book while waiting for the coffee goodies to go to work and give my liver a well deserved break!

If you have any questions at all please feel free to ask in the comment section, email me, or you can also find me on my Facebook page.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Is it messy?
- Not really. Any mess is usually contained in bathtub which you can easily rinse down the drain. Typically when you remove the tube from rectum the left over coffee from the very bottom of the tube that didn’t make it into the rectum will spill out a bit. It’s only a few drops and it’s not contaminated with feces. You will not likely lose your bowels. You can make it to the toilet to evacuate. Pay attention to what your body is telling you. If you feel spasms, count to 10 and if you can’t make it to 10, it’s time to get to the toilet, but most spasms subside after 10 seconds.
What does it feel like?
- It feels like warmth entering the rectum. It feels like you have to go to the bathroom at times. This is when you close clamp, count to ten, and then open clamp again. It feels relaxing.
Can I get dehydrated?
- Not likely. If fact it may aid in hydration. You just want to be sure that you are drinking plenty of fluids along with using coffee enemas and preferably fresh fruit and vegetable juices to keep electrolytes in balance.
Does it hurt?
- Absolutely not. If you have any pain you are not doing it correctly. Most likely you are trying to force nozzle into the rectum. Tearing the anus is serious and you must take precaution not to do this. Be sure you have a well lubricated nozzle before attempting insertion.
How often can I do coffee enemas?
- Many experienced people take 2 or 3 coffee enemas a day. I don’t see where people have the time to do this nor do I think it’s necessary for a healthy person just looking for a good colon clean and liver cleanse. People with severe illness that follow the Gerson Therapy take coffee enemas every 3-4 hours or 6 times a day. I recommend starting off slowly with 1 or 2 per week. If you are drinking fresh fruit and vegetable juices you can take more coffee enemas, perhaps 1 a day or 1 every other day. I typically do an enema once weekly as that is all I have time for.
Will this help me lose weight?
- If you have impacted feces in your colon you will lose that weight for sure. Also, a high functioning liver that quickly and effectively eliminates toxins can help in losing weight. I believe that as we get older our bodies become so laden with toxins that we can’t lose weight because these toxins discourage all of our body's systems from working properly. Digestion and metabolism especially get out of whack when we are toxic. So yes, I think it can aid you in losing weight.
Will it rid my colon of good gut flora?
- Coffee enemas shouldn’t interfere with your gut’s good bacteria. It is beneficial in removing parasites and toxins but the good flora should remain. To be on the safe side you can be sure to eat a healthy diet, perhaps take probiotic capsules orally each day, or do a probiotic enema with 3-5 capsules dissolved in 2 cups of water and retain as long as possible. Ideally, you’ll want to absorb all of this without evacuating. This is called an implant enema.

Be good to your liver,

In the words of a mother